I had been caught up in the biblical traffic snarl up associated with our major towns as I was heading back to my abode. It was already evening heading to nite and I was worried sick. The weather was not at all appealing. Even under the creeping darkness, one was able to still spot the dark hazy clouds looming, as if trying taking count of the people they would micturate on.
And no, it’s not that I was from the salon and I was afraid my hair would get wet. Rather because, that fateful morning, I had just done my laundry. I had washed all my clothes. Yeah…I’m one of those dudes who wait till they have no clean clothes to wear so as to wash them…typical of most, if not all dudes.
The clouds did soon give way and it started raining. Fast forward and I got back to my premise drenched and soaking wet. My clothes were as if they had been rinsed anew. I guess the Lord does see everything. The fast pace washing those clothes had endured that morning was just cruel.
So there I was, soaking wet with no clothes. That’s when it hit me..
I know you have come around an article suggesting that the most healthy, or at least one way of healthy sleeping, is sleeping not in your Italian suit, unless of course your are actually Italian, but whilst you naked.
This at first got me bewildered when I read it. I couldn’t fathom just what kind of beds one would be able to sleep naked the whole night and make it to the next morning albeit healthier. For the many years that I have been able to enjoy my own bed, I haven’t come across one that would actually host me in my nudity. This is partly ’cause most of the beds I have had the pleasure of sleeping in range from cold floors to class desks to some military grade meshed beds with mattresses so thin I would actually wake up with squares on my back.
Under normal circumstances and in my right senses, I would never even think of attempting the exercise. I never do any form exercise, other than say running out of money and maybe time and again putting my liver to work by downing a couple of bottles of fermented barley. In my opinion, that’s enough exercise for me.
But here I was, presented with the perfect chance of having to prove one of the major scientific findings. I felt chosen, privileged even. I remembered all those times that I had been sent to the shop, with my mum yelling that I run, but all I did was trot out of her eyesight and then proceed to casually walk the rest of the way. I now felt unhealthy and for once I entertained the idea of sleeping nude. I had the chance to atone for all those lazy walks. This is what I believe is called being ‘Opportunistic’…………..or plain dumb depending on your stand.
So after relieving myself…of the wet clothes-keeping in mind I had already showered, no thanks to the rain. I slid in my bed. Being the private guy I am, I had to orate a lengthy prayer to God for His protection in my most vulnerable state. Can you just imagine waking up to something dwindling from where it’s supposed not to…yeaah…
I then spent the better part of the night curled up in my bed trying to figure out how I was supposed to gain sleep. It was a battle I wasn’t winning. The feeling of the blankets against my skin didn’t help either. What bed sheets..?? Who has those nowadays anyway….
The healthy benefit was no longer appealing. I soon realized I had set myself perfectly to the mosquito congregation that usually inhabits my single room. They seemed to have an agenda. It’s as if they had been holding a grudge for all their compatriots that had fallen by my hands as they descended on me relentlessly. I was feeling ‘religious’ and I thus refrained from killing any of God’s creatures lest He decided to answer not my prayers.
I must have passed out because of being tired from the journey and sitting in the vehicle for long but when I came to…it was already dawn.
I looked towards the end of my bed and I gasped….
Something huuge was under the blankets. I know my lengths and my heights and that was not my 2 inch member that usually seems to always rise earlier than me.
Heart pounding, veins popping…I slowly but cautiously lifted the two thin flappy blankets as to combat whatever was underneath.
Alas and behold, God had answered my prayers of the prior night. It was not a foreign object nor a creature I din’t already know-as a matter of fact, it was a creature of my own..my member down under, but for some reason he seemed larger, bigger than a pencil, a fish even.
He seemed to have gained a whole lotta height and width..about the whole of a half an inch from the last time I had taken a closer look at him….he always knew how to make an entrance..but..i digress…
The turmoil I had encountered that previous night had been, right then duly justified.
If that is not being healthier, I don’t know what is…
*Ps – I’m not sure how it works for ladies though…