As I was driving (my parent’s car, not mine-sorry, pull down your skirts) to the polling station during the recent elections on 26th Oct, 2017, there she was….But let’s start from the beginning, shall we?
You see, it all started when I decided to go home to vote. On that fateful day I woke up late, past the time we had agreed with my parents to leave for the polling station.
As such, when they were leaving to go vote, I was on my way to take breakfast, unperturbed as I knew there would be no long queues even if were to be late.
After an hour or so, they came back. After a few minutes thereafter, I too left to exercise my civil right knowing all well that bad leaders are chosen by good citizens who refuse to go vote yada yada yada….
It being not a long drive, I soon arrived and I was turning into the primary school where the exercise was taking place, my right indicator signaling as much, that was the fateful moment that I saw her.
She was a bit tall, in matching sweat-pantsdownload and ow boy, right there and then, like Saul was struck by lightning as detailed in the holy book, so was I ass-tonished. She had an ass-tonishing derriere.
Trying not to step in the mud, as it’s been raining heavily in these sides for those of you in the desert; her bubble butt was jiggling with each step, getting me closer to a heart attack. Who knew I was this ass-matic. You can say I’m ‘A’-typical.
Seeing as I was driving just behind her, she looked around for a place to step so as to allow me to drive on. This was despite my fruitless effort to halt and let her walk on unperturbed as it would have gifted me the chance a few moments of solace in days of such political uncertainty and tension.
Well, I did drive on after she moved to the side of the muddy path and I proceeded to cast my vote without much hassle as there were no people in a queue as I had guessed.
After casting my vote, I reluctantly headed to the car, all the while wishing she could catch up with me, having left her inside the classroom turned polling station.
It was then that some of Solomon’s wisdom descended upon me. A thought occurred to me-I know, its rarer than I make it sounds, I’d got the car and wait till she got close and it would be then that I would pounce and seek to give a ride to wherever she was going even if it was on a different route than I was to use back home. You know, at that moment in time, if you listened closely, you could have heard my genius-ness
So I picked up the pace and got to the car, directly facing the direction she was coming from as she had exited the PS. It was then that I was polishing up my plan ready to lay siege that disaster struck…
No, she didn’t get hit by lightning or anything; it was in the form of a boda boda guy who had just arrived to drop off a lady just before my prey would get close to my position. I saw her conversing with the suspect who nodded as she hopped on to his motor cycle.
And that was the moment I lost her as the realization that my allegiance might have changed sunk in. I was all for new election, in ass-piration that I will get to run into her again.
So here’s to new elections in 90 days, hopefully sooner…